Loki's Love
by jessica-bones-winchester
Summary: One-shot. Takes place during Dark World. Basically an inserted love interest (with an established history with Loki) at a key point in the movie, because I can't help but believe that if Loki had someone who he truly believed loved him without condition, he wouldn't be so bad. Contains spoilers. I'm new to the world of Thor, and this is my first Marvel fic, so please be gentle. R&R


I made my way down to the dungeons. My pace was swift, but I didn't run. I didn't want him to see me out of breath. Not for the first time. The guard just outside the entrance at the bottom of the stairs stopped me.

"You know I can't let you through," he said

"I have to see him."

"He doesn't want to-"

"I have news from the King. Let me pass."

My voice held a confidence that I didn't feel. The guard believed it. Loki would see right through it. I was allowed to pass, and I made my way toward Loki's cell. I slowed as I approached him from behind. He sat on the edge, just behind the shield, quietly reading one of the books his mother had provided for him. I choked back the lump in my throat, and moved forward, but he knew I was there without taking his eyes from his book.

"I told them I didn't want to see you," he said. His voice stayed calm, but cold.

"I have news."

"Yes," he said, "I would imagine there is lots of news with the prisoners that just escaped. Is the city in shambles?"

"Loki... Frigga... your mother is dead."

I couldn't stop the tremble in my voice. He didn't move except to lower his book a little in his lap.

"She was killed, Loki."

"What would you have me do," he asked as he turned the page of his book.

"I would have you react to the death of your mother."

"She was not my mother," he said in a quiet voice.

Frigga had told me of his insistence of the fact that she was not his mother by birth. She knew he meant no harm. It was, for him, the truth. A truth that had been kept from him. But Frigga told me that she sensed... she knew that Loki still loved her as her son. I knew she was right.

"Then I would, at least, have you look at me." I said.

He stared at his book.

"Loki-"

"You've delivered your news," he said. "Leave."

I stepped toward the shield, almost desperate for him to look up.

"Loki, please, if you would just-"

"Leave!"

His shout startled me, and glued me to my spot. He still didn't look my way.

His hands gripped the edges of his book, and I knew he wouldn't listen. Not now. I had to get him to talk to me, but this wasn't the time. I turned, eyes downcast, and left the dungeon.

i gave him time. It was all any of us had. Fandral came to check on me. Always the overprotective brother, he took my face in his hands and looked for injuries as we sat in my chambers.

"I'm fine," I protested. "I was nowhere near the attack when it happened."

"Good."

"I should have been with Frigga."

"So you could have been killed, too?"

"So I could have saved her."

"And how would you have done that?"

I stared at him a moment, then hung my head. "I don't know."

"Trust me when I say, you didn't want to be there."

He pulled me into his arms and held me tight in silence for a moment. Then, he finally spoke what I knew was coming.

"You went and saw Loki," he said.

"I did."

"Why?"

"To tell him of Frigga."

"Anyone could have done that."

"He deserved to hear it from someone who cares about him."

I stood and walked toward the balcony of the room.

"How can you still have feelings for that villain?"

"Oh, please," I said as I turned on my heels. "You never liked Loki."

"He was a nuisance. The annoying little brother of my friend and fellow warrior."

"And do you not think Loki picked up on that? You all welcomed him into your group, but kept him at arms length. Just as you've always done with me."

He stood and walked toward me. "That is for your protection. You don't belong in battle."

"And now that Frigga is gone, where do I belong? She was my mentor. I see no more fitting tribute than to continue to care for a son that she loved."

"It's more than caring, isn't it? I used to watch you two, you know. It made me a nervous wreck."

"Why?"

"Because Loki is a trickster. He's shrewd and deceitful, and you looked at him with a brightness in your eyes."

"Because he was never deceitful with me."

"How could you know?"

"He showed me his tricks. He would have me chase him through the courtyards, creating multiple versions of himself. It was my goal to find him. The real him. And I learned."

Fandral sighed and took my hand.

"That makes him no less deceitful... no less a villain."

"I know what he's done, and I love him still."

"I'd hoped you would never actually utter those words."

"I had the chance to say them once before, but I didn't," I said as I took my hand from his, "and it didn't end well."

I walked away, and Fandral called after me.

"Where are you going?"

"Do you have to ask," I said without tuning back.

"My only consolation is that he refuses to see you."

I stopped and turned back to face him. Tears stung my eyes.

"You have no idea how much your words hurt me."

As I turned again to leave the room he called out.

"I rather my words hurt you than his anger."

I didn't respond. I didn't look back. My mind and my heart were set on Loki.

The guard let me pass this time without too much persuasion, and I walked straight to Loki's cell. He stood tall in the middle of the room.

"Back again," he asked as he looked me square in the eye.

"Yes, and I want to see you."

"Here I am," he said with his arms spread wide.

"No. Not this illusion. I want to see you. Have you forgotten our training in the courtyards?"

"Mere games."

"Not just games. You showed me how to see the real you."

As the facade slowly faded, it revealed a ransacked room. The veil drew back until I could see Loki sitting against the far wall. He looked as broken as the furniture that lay around him. My chest tightened, and tears threatened my eyes, but I held them back, knowing that Loki would despise pity. I projected my image into his cell, trying to be close to him in any way I could. He couldn't hide the surprise on his face at my ability.

"Your mother," I said softly.

"She taught you well."

I lowered myself to kneel beside him, reminding myself that there could be no touch... no reaching out.

"I told you I didn't want to see you," he said.

"And I want desperately to see you. Why do you reject me?"

He scoffed and stared straight into my eyes.

"I reject you? No. It was you who rejected me."

"I never-"

"Our last meeting in the courtyard," he said, "when I told you of my plans."

"Loki, I didn't reject you."

He sat up straighter. "I told you my plans, asked for your help, and admitted my love for you. You said-"

"I said that I couldn't help you. I never said that I didn't love you."

"You never said that you did."

"I wanted to, Loki, but I was so worried about what you had planned. You walked away before I could say it back. That moment was my highest high, and my lowest low. To know that you felt the same about me... yet you were risking everything."

"It was meant to be a harmless prank. A way to ruin Thor's day."

"I know."

"And then everything unraveled."

"I know. And I never got to tell you that, because we thought we lost you."

He scoffed and looked away, and I knew my mistake.

"I," I stressed, "I thought I lost you without ever telling you that I love you."

I held my hand up with my fingers slightly splayed, and he did the same, almost touching my projected image.

"I miss the way you smiled at me," I said. "And your fingers intertwined with mine while we walked."

One of his fingers twitched, then his hand fell to his lap.

"Now nothing but a memory," he said.

"Tell me you still love me," I said as I lowered my hand.

"Why? What good can my love do for you?"

"It will give me hope."

"Then it would be more kind for me to dismiss you as I did before. With Frigga's death, Odin will likely have me executed."

"He wouldn't go against Frigga's last wishes."

"I wouldn't count on that."

"Tell me you love me, and I will fight for your life with my last breath," I said.

He smiled a sad smile that didn't reach his eyes.

"And if I say that I do not?"

I sighed. "I will fight for you anyway."

"For Frigga?"

"Because I love you."

He leaned his head back against the wall and let out a breath.

"You love me as Frigga did," he said.

"Not quite," I said with a blush.

That pulled a true smile from him.

"With the same devotion," he clarified.

"I wish I could touch you," I said. "When they brought you back here, I thought I'd have time with you before they locked you away... to tell you everything..."

"It doesn't matter. Maybe it's for the best. You can't miss the feel of a kiss you never had."

"I think you're wrong about that."

I stood and let the illusion fade, and his eyes reconnected with mine as I stood outside his cell, beyond the shield.

"I do love you," he said.

I closed my eyes and smiled as they opened again.

"I know," I said.

"Liar," he said with a grin.

"Well... I hoped."

I blew him a kiss, and he placed his hand over his heart. After a moment, I somehow managed to pull myself away, and I ascended the stairs, away from my love.

Some time passed before I was in my chambers. I lay on my bed, my mind lost in a scramble of thoughts, when there was a knock at the door.

"Enter," I called out as I sat up.

The double doors opened and Loki walked in. I was on my feet and in his arms in an instant. I didn't register Thor's presence just outside the door until he spoke.

"Two minutes. We have little time."

"What's going on," I asked Loki.

"We're going to avenge Frigga and make sure Asgard is safe. Thor needs my help."

I smiled at the grin on his face.

"What can I do to help," I asked.

"Nothing," he said as his hands smoothed up and down my arms. "My condition to give my assistance was to see you before we left. If we fail, we are dead. If we succeed, I could still be sent back to the cell... or worse. This is my one sure moment of freedom, and I remembered what you said about missing that kiss you never felt. Well, I quite agree. I was wrong. I would rather have that kiss and miss it than never have it and wonder."

His arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me tight against his body as his lips descended to mine. I gave in without a thought and wrapped my arms around his shoulders. The thought that this was our first and possibly last kiss spurred something inside of me, and my hands began to roam over his back and shoulders, up his neck to his face, anywhere I could reach. His hands began to do the same, and our kisses began urgent as we separated only to join together again and again. It was the sound of Thor clearing his throat that brought us back to reality. The kisses slowed until Loki's lips left mine and kissed a trail to my ear.

"I will redeem myself for the sake of your love," he whispered.

I wrapped my arms tight around him and whispered back. "Your redemption is for your own sake. I love you either way. Just come back to me."

"I will do my best."

With one final kiss, Loki squeezed my hand and then followed Thor, closing my doors behind him.


End file.
